Third Contact-Ghost Whispers

Terminus


It was a typical day yesterday. I only sleep for about an hour the previous night and I was still droopy when I started my shift. It was a good shift. I was able to make 3 sales and that really boosted my esteem and woke me up from my impending slumber. By the end of the shift I finally decided to call up the Ghost and meet up with it. At first I was undecided due to the fact that my phone was almost empty. I managed to send out one message and crossed my fingers that we would meet up at the designated place. I came thirty minutes earlier than the specified time and I was able to down to sticks of cigarettes before I finally caught up with her.

At first the typical tension and animosity crept between both of us, but I know that this day was different. We ate at our favorite pizza restaurant and were able to enjoy the whole meal without having a stressful conversation. We went on and bought some of her supplies then afterwards we went to starbucks to smoke some more and enjoy some coffee.

I was very reluctant and was holding back until our eyes met. The sheer innocence in her eyes made me fall back to the days when everything was still all right. We tried to talk casually but sometimes something between us still makes us unique. It’s not love and its not even something tangible. It is something that only years of contact and experience can forge. For 8 whole months that was the only time that I was able to freely place my hand on her skin without any animosity or uneasiness. I was also surprised when she returned the favor. It was something small but I am thankful that at least it happened . God is very wise. He lets you piece by piece on the things you want the most, for in the end those who wait and persevere are not left un-rewarded.

As we end the day I painfully reminisce and contemplate on the things I did (refer to the post below-"Anything For You"). We again part ways and I am back to earth once more. I thought of one thing and you know who she is. I ask myself am I still afraid of knowing that as the sun shine and sets she still belongs to someone. But what the heck I am happy and nothing more could make me feel this way. I don’t care about anyone or anything. I love one person and care for her the most. I thank God for giving me these things. It may not be much, but I am willing to stick around as required. I thank you Ghost for you have given me enough motivation and for letting me return the favor.

I end this post with a very special reflection: You still make smile and make me feel wonderful. I love You as always and more than ever. Always here never gone!


For the Ghost:


Holding Back the Tears:


I kind of keep asking myself little questions

Like where do I go from here

I seem to keep loosing track of time and how long its been

Since I last had you near


Been a painful road to a door thats closed

Been a gamble that I knew I couldnt win

Been a lonely conversation to this photograph of you

In the mirror theres a sign I must give in


So Im not holding back the tears anymore

Tryin escape the heartache, tryin escape emotion

No Im not holding back the tears anymore

Yesterdays my memory reminding me of all the time

I depended on you


I used to enjoy spending my time on my own here

Watching the jaded people pass

Now here I am sharing their pain and their lonely tears

And walking a road of broken glass


Its a constant fight to get through each day and night

Its a war between the present and the past

And the face thats in your mind every time you close your eyes

Whats the reason, whats the answer, how long will this last


So Im not holding back the tears anymore

Tryin escape the heartache, tryin escape emotion

No Im not holding back the tears anymore

Yesterdays my memory reminding me of all the time


Been a long time since I heard your last goobdye

Still I hear it clearly every day and night

Whats the point in love when you have to give it up

Yet still you need it and its nowhere you can find


So Im not holding back the tears anymore

Tryin escape the heartache, tryin escape emotion

No Im not holding back the tears anymore

Yesterdays my memory reminding me of all the timeI depended on you

Anything For You...

Terminus


Hello! I kind of feel sad right now. I read someone else’s blog and I am really worried about her. Yes I know it may sound technical and simple, but I know that this girl is going through a lot right now. How I wish that I never did the sins of the past. How I wish that I were still there whenever she needs uplifting or motivation. I hope I am always there to ease the things that she endures. To comfort her after a long day.

I’ve put her on this misfortune. She should not be soul searching, or worrying about love and any similar issues. I should have thought of her first before myself. But now I am here to make up for it. I’m so sorry baby (I just missed you calling that, it's been months). I am basically teary eyed now the moment those words came out of my mouth. I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t be in pain right now, If only I cared.

Laugh at me or ignore me about this, but as promised I’m always here to support you. I love you very much baby, and you’ll know you’ll always be.


For this post I dedicate this very appropriate song. Read the lines and you’ll know what I mean. I love you so much. -Ghost

Anything For you:
By Gloria Estefan

Anything for you

Though youre not here

Since you said were through

It seems like years

Time keeps draggin on and on

And forevers been and gone

Still I cant figure what went wrong


Id still do anything for you

Ill play your game

You hurt me through and through

But you can have your way

I can pretend each time I see you

That I dont care and I dont need you

And though youll never see me cryin

You know inside I feel like dying


And Id do anything for you

In spite of it all

Ive learned so much from you

You made me strong

But dont you ever think that I dont love you

That for one minute I forgot you

But sometimes things dont work out right

And you just have to say goodbye

I hope you find somone to please you

Somone wholl care and never leave you

But if that someone ever hurts you

You just might need a friend to turn to


And Id do anything for you

Ill give you upIf thats what

I should doTo make you happy

I can pretend each time I see you

That I dont care and I dont need you

And though inside I feel like dying

You know youll never see me crying

Dont you ever think that I dont love you

That for one minute I forgot you

But sometimes things dont work out right

And you just have to say goodbye

Glimpses of Autumn

Terminus


Autumn is considered by everyone as one of the most beautiful among the four seasons. It imbues the serenity and nostalgic feeling of winter but at the same time gives you that little pinch that make it extra special.

What and where have I gone through after a turbulent summer and a spring of self-discovery? Well here I am stable but still incomplete. How wonderful do god's playful fingers work around you. Giving you unexpected twist and turns. But hey I am glad that even thou they are surprising, at the same time they are very rewarding with the answers you ask about your life.

Well first of all I am very happy that I'm already given a "regular employee" status her at AOL. Well Six months of hard work had paid off and I wish to attain at least TSR LEVEL 2 Position or even CSS stature (expect Ram to start Bashing me As. Well its a long way to go and I’m enjoying work better than before. Cory and I are still very bleak as a couple but I’m still here for her. Well whets new with that. Heehaw. I’m patient now, and I enjoy it that way. Don’t you just like it when everything swoons your way without forcing it? But I am happy. A simple glimpse of her and smell of her hair makes me yearn, but at the same time feel satisfied with what am im getting. It is better than nothing.

Well, sometimes people wonder why can’t I shake her off. I don’t know either. Guys give me a break, I may look stupid or "martyr" but hey nobody’s' making me fall the way she makes me. Well I no longer care what he/she thinks. It’s something or a bond that makes me go for her, all the time. It's not as if umaasa pa ako, even thou masarap. Pero I’m glad that im still able to keep an eye on her. She might say that all I am saying is B.S. but hey I'll let actions speak for me. I love her yes. I may love somebody else in the future or not find anyone. But I know she's the no.1 girl for me no matter what happens. It would take a superwoman or even a goddess to make me forget about her or topple her position. Overall I am glad I was able to interact with different people and ladies during those times that we weren't talking, and I’m glad in the end nothing's changed. I am still madly in-love with the greatest girl I loved in my life. Don’t hate her please. I deserve everything that had happened and it made me think clearly and maturely this time around. I wont say anything about this matter with respect to her. I am still here for her whatever happens.

Now for lighter matters. Hey I am glad that I was able to re-design my blog again. As you’ve noticed you could again check most of the archive entries. A cleaner and darker layout makes the reader feel relax and a bigger and shorter box to come. I’ve also decided to make this blog both as an entertainment and more-interactive page. I already asked Lance to give assistance in setting up the multimedia jukebox (with play list) and I'll be adding other add-ons (PICS, BACKLINKS, FLOATER TAGS etc.) to make your stay worthwhile and would encourage new Bloggers in developing their own Blogsite. Also please disregard the past messages on my CBOX, coz I am having trouble logging unto my new one, so I have to make of my old one from my old blog. So just keep on posting guys and thanks for the support

In two weeks my sisters' going to get married and I’m glad that everything is going well and all the preparations are going on a planned. I almost went teary eyed when I helped my sister pack some of her things (she'll be moving out after the wedding over at Pasig in their new House). I can't believe how much I love her and you sometimes regret the times that you don’t see each other. But I am happy and envious at the same time. Envious of the fact that she’s going to be with the person she love the most, and I myself failed in doing so. How I wish one day I’ll be walking down the aisle with her (you know who) and tell her face to face how much I love her and how thankful I am that God didn’t took her away for good. And as the day nears I thank God for making my sister happy.

Now a little surprise. I HAVE MY OWN CAR! Well my dad just gave me our Box Type Mitsubishi Lancer GSR. Pero siguro di lang talaga ako Car person kasi after 5 mins wala na yung excitement ko. I need to have a new license by January so I can start driving again. Well good luck na lang.

Thank you again and I hope I can post the images later on. Thanks and Zzzzzzz.! Got to get some shuteye! Bye God Bless

P.S. I just want to congratulate My Co-Wave9 TSR’s. Were there and we’ll keep on moving up and forward, and to TL- Vince our new full-pledged TL we did it twice and we’ll do it again!

To Mel-Welcome to my Blog. It’s nice to have new Thomason Friends here on the floor.

To Ana-Lakas ng trip natin tsong sa Uulitin!

Placebo Effect

Terminus
0 Comments »



Just got back from a very special day over at the “Shang “ in Mandaluyong. Guys I suggest going over at the 6th floor Starbucks and spend a time with your “very special” someone. Nice ambiance and the lighting make the overall experience soothing and relaxing. Now to begin!

Head Spinning. Feeling light headed. Almost a natural high! Wow! That was my initial reaction when I first had my nicotine high. It felt so good that I exclaimed “Ang Sarap Mag Yosi”! But then again it was temporary. Just like most of the things that you encounter. With respect to the emotional, physical and mental aspects of life. We usually indulge in this pseudo fantasies and realities, which give us a sense of satisfaction and completeness. But do we have the power to decipher which among these so-called “Placebo Effects” are real?

Lets begin with the basic situations:

Example 1:

Boy just separated with the love of his life. After enduring so much pain (which he himself caused after cheating on his girl) the guys finally realizes it’s time to move on and go soul searching (“hmmm that wasn’t a very good term to use). He then finds Girl no 1. AT first Girl no.1 seemed to be the spitting image (at least physically of his past girlfriend and he struggles shaking off mental hallucinations that both of them are the same girl (i.e. “I see you in her” effect). After finally mustering the strength to face his worst fears he finally realized that girl no.1 is the one who made him forget about his ghostly haunting. He was so happy and satisfied, that he got his sense of “caring” back.

He himself was convinced that this girl was the one that triggered that “letting go effect” slowly but surely he was falling in love again. It was nice, tense and exciting. Similar to a pre-roller coaster dip. Anticipating, hoping that nothing could go wrong. You have the whole situation under control, until the inevitable happens. Uncertainty kicks in and indecisiveness disrupts all harmony. What was once a smooth playing sonata transformed into a barrage of screeches and howls. You tried to make things right (well basically both of them) but in the end things don’t work out. Boy is misunderstood. Girl can’t step away from the shadows of someone (an enlighten knight maybe hehehe peace).

So to finally end things guy tries to step away and stop living a dream. A constant one. It sucks sometimes when people think that you ask something in return. Guy needs a respite from all of this s*^t! Being caught in this situation is something that other guys would readily reject, but for this boy it is something worth trying. It’s better to lose than be futile. It is nicer to fight for something and failing rather than do it with no certain results.

Conclusion. Guy provided space for the girl in order to let things settle down.

Example 2:

Boy just went thru a lot of hullabaloo concerning his love life. Months of frustration over failed dating and finding the correct person. Beforehand he was caged with the thought of falling in-love again with the one who got away. Stormed by vendetta and hate, it slowly consumed him inside and out. One day he decided to face his demons and confront his worst fears. Boy finds “the right girl” falls in-love and in the end he still end up being divided. He finally decided to let go of the one who got away and decided to pursue the latter. Everything was well but in the end it was not. He ends another chapter enlightened. Sometimes it’s worth to just sit down with another individual. Talk things over. But of course it is better when both of you don’t have that what we call excess baggage or other unfinished business. In the end either sila yung epal or ikaw ang umeepal.

Conclusion: Guy Faced Reality!


Example 3

Guy finally wraps up one of the most complicated equations in his life. Boy relaxes gets back at work and tried to sort one out again. This time it’s really complicated (well maganda siguro yung hitsura nung equation) coz he doesn’t want to have the kind of equation he had before. He started working on this new equation. Taking his time, doing the right steps, using the correct formula and finally realizes that it pays off. No unfinished business between them or in their bags. No overly romantic dates and less drama. That’s more like it. You ask more questions before doing your move. It’s clearer and gives more progress. You assess every step, every move and every reaction, and if your patient enough, then all of your efforts doesn’t go unheralded. Yes this boy is very happy right now. Thanks for a very good advice form his no.1 antagonist (his tongue is usually as sharp as his name suggest hehehe). Lower to zero expectations make the experience better. Things unfold the natural way. The more we ask and the more we wait then better things would come our way.

Slowly but surely this boy is very glad how things are working out, the last 3 days were fast and great. The boy made sure that everything was clear and that he or she was not just looking for another escape route. Coffee and a pack of Marlboro Ultra Lights Bridge a lot of gap, and the skyline over at the Viewing Deck of the Starbucks Shangri-La branch gave the experience a wonderful effect. And who says that happiness escapes those who seek it. This time I am playing my cards carefully. No more all-ins and bluffs ,just the facts. Win or Lose at least then game is fair and no one’s hiding any cards. I wont say “eto na” or ok na. Keep on doing the right things and malay mo….
Conclusion: Guy is Falling in love, for real...walang sabit

Well a couple of thanks for the following guys….

Lance and Ram-For providing humor and words of wisdom (crooked at some point , hehehe) and my monthly moniker.

Jesy and Sarah- For the wonderful contribution (the one who got away)

Caco-For the Siakol Lyrics!

Ghost and Ellie-thank you guys. For making me learn new things!
Wag Mong Isipin Yon Chords by Siakol, www.Ultimate-Guitar.Com
H'wag mong isipin yon
Hindi ka no'n mahal Tulay:
Alam mo nang niloloko ka n'ya
Pero nagbubulag-bulagan ka
Hindi mo ba napapansin
Nakekengkoy ka na
(same chords on 1st stanza mga bosing)
H'wag manghinayang don may mas babagay paIgala-gala mo lang ang mga mata
Tulay 2:(same chords on tulay 1 mga bosing)
At kung sa pag-ihip nitong hangin
Dama mo na ikaw ay napuwing
Probema mo't suliranin Aking aalisin
Koro:
Tumingin ka sa iba at iyong makikita
Yung di ka iiwan di na mag-iisa
Tumingin ka kung saan
Kikislap ang 'yong mga mata
At gugulong ka sa katatawa
Ha!ha!ha! masaya
'Di ka na mangangamba
Hindi ka na magmumukhang tanga
At kung manhid ka kasi mahal mo pa s'ya
Naku umayos ka marami pang iba
Repeat Intro, Chorus
Marami pang iba......3x



Confusion Post!

Terminus
0 Comments »

Give Me A Break!
Well nothing much just wanna post a simple wallpaper I made for someonw. Ok mamaya na uli serious post! Thanks for posing for me Diane. Isn't she pretty? Hehehe! Wala lang!
I hate this week!

Terminus
0 Comments »

The one that almost got away."
Courtesy of Jesy Jopio and Sarah Carolino!
Patamaan daw ba ako! Hahahaha!

In your life you'll take note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared comething special, ones who will always mean something.

There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with... and the one that got away. Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in theperson, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyong the little necesities of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it, without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you are with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become deal breakers simply because you're not rady and it shows, It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone.He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work, And it'll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different , your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and want you want, and you've become ready because the time ha truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you called be married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you know is that you've changed , and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.

You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life.

If you're married you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen yoiur marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but its alright. It's never nice to live with a "Might have been," but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then its different. What do you do if its not yet too late? Simple.. find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "One that got away" means that you'll always wonder, what if you got that one?

You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you're the one that almost got away."

Enduring Solace-WIth Beer and Vodka! Wee!

Terminus
0 Comments »

Enduring Solace-WIth Beer and Vodka! Wee!
First of all Im excited coz I'll be coming back to work by tommorow morning. I got the go signal from my doctor a while ago and cant w8 to go on the floor once more.
Now back to some serious issues. Ano pa bang masasabi ko. The past 6 days was one whirlwind ride for my thoughts and emotions. This is what I call a "tug of war" effect. Treat it this way. May ubo ka kaya kailangan mong mag bisolvon kahit mapait. May tumor ka pero kahit delikado kailagan mong magp-opera. Di ba ang hirap. Bottomline sa lahat ng mga tao sa paligid ko magpakatotoo tayo. Hindi porke masakit hindi mo na aaminin o pangangatawanan.
Ngayon sa mga nakakakilala sakin, alam nyo na siguro kung ano ibig sabihin ko. Yes kinain ko mga sinsabi ko noon. Ang hirap kasi kung maglolokohan lang tayong lahat. So ako ang desisyon ko eh to take the challenge. Ano man hirap o bagay susubukan ko. Petty, pero totoo. Sigh. Pero ang totoo niyan masaya ako na nalilito.
At sa multo na dumalaw sakin, wag mo akong pipilitang mamili. Nakapamili na ako kaya sorry na lang. It's the truth. Maubos man ang mga taong magbibigay ng prayers para sa kaluluwa mo (ghost ka nga diba?) may isa pa ring Orc/Oaf/Troll na hahanap sayao.
Well di mo ako kaaway. Alam ko na dimo ako nakikilala tulad ng dati. Pero try mo lang,baka nagkakamali ka!
Thanks nga pala sa mga tao na nag post sa blog ko for the past week! Baet baet nyo naman! So mamaya na lang 1:30 AM. Babalik na ako!
One more thing. Para sa ghost may ginawa pala akong wallpaper. May message na nakalagay dun. Just click on the link to download and apply it as wallpaper temporarily. Hindi yun mababasa unless gawinmong wallpaper or ma zoom mo siya.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Respeto lang sa mga tukmol na mag da-download at pag tri-tri-pan (kahit ogag mga barkada ko lalo na si Lance di niya gagawin yun). Respeto lang!
So guys Hanggang dito na lang at ang bago ko nga pa lang national anthem nung nagkasakit ako at walang ginawa kundi uminom (thanks Vodka and Beer0 ay walang iba kungdi ang napakagandang awitin ng bandang itchyworms ang Beer! Bow!
Thought for the Day-"Let the Unfairness of the World, Keep You Motivated and Fighting".
Beer
by: Itchywowrms
I
Nais kong magpakalasing Dahil wala ka na Nakatingin sa salamin At nag-iisa Nakatanim pa rin ang gumamelang Binalik mo sakin Nang tayo’y maghiwalay Ito’y katulad ng damdamin ko Kahit buhusan mo ng beer ayaw pang mamatay

II
Giliw, wag mo sanang limutin Ang mga araw na hindi sana naglaho Mga anak at bahay nating pinaplano Lahat ng ito’y nawala Nung iniwan mo ako Kaya ngayon

Chorus:
Ibuhos na ang beer Sa aking lalamunan Upang malunod na ang puso kong nahihirapan Bawat patak anong sarap Ano ba talagang mas gusto ko Ang beer na to o ang pag-ibig mo
III
Nais kong magpakasabog Dahil olats ako Kahit ano hihithitin Kahit tambucho Kukuha ako ng beer at ipapakulo sa kaldero Lalanghapin ang usok nito Lahat ay aking gagawin upang hindi ko na isiping nag-iisa na ako
(Repeat Chorus)
IV
Giliw, wag mo sanang limutinAng mga araw na hindi sana naglahoMga anak at bahay nating pinaplanoLahat ng ito’y nawalaNung iniwan mo akoKaya ngayon
(repeat ChoRus)

A welcome Haunting....

Terminus
0 Comments »

Proven Wrong....A welcome Haunting
Hello Guys! It's been a week already and Im still sick with chicken pox. Yes it was just recent when i was infected by my officemate Eric (hehe dont worry Eric tigas kasi ng ulo ko). Well I've experienced a lot of things before going on my PLA (Prolonged Leave of Absence). I met up with a very unusual ghost from my past, It was haunting but at the same time very very soothing. It is the type of ghost that make you get off the road of everyday life. It was like this four years ago. But then again this time it's different. As much as I want to hold the ghost in my arms, it simply just wont fall thruogh me. I was sadden knoing that this time it was different. The Ghost to me to places and talked about things form the past. I wanted it to stay, but there are other things in it's mind. But then again I was glad. Cause it was the first time the ghost listened to my words. All the hate and pain was stripped out of my body. And all I could say is that I am willing for whatever the ever "Higher Power" has in-store for me.
Before we parted , I promised the Ghost that whatever happens I ill always pray and be on it's side. It was hesitant but a slight uncertainty in it's voice made me worry. Idont want to speculate, but I just pray for the best. I only told it, to always do the right thing. I also told that it deserved more blessings and prayers . I am pained that I am capabale of doing all these things for this entity, but I was powerless cause somebody else was tasked to do it. As we parted, my mind took two days to settle down. I am still cconfused, but this time I was able to handle it.
Things may not always come your way when you force it. But youll be surprised how fate swings it's favor on those who wait. Now who says I wasnt blessed...I am. As for the ghost always remeber, all I wanted is your eternal peace. If others cant do it...then there is always one person willing to join you or someone you can haunt for eternity. For you are my Kiang Shi---A welcome Haunting!
P.S. Thank you for everyone who sent their "Get Well Soons". To team Hyeprion, Congratulation Guys, and hopefully this is just one of the many achievements that the team's gonna attain in the future. I am climbing back and is hoping to join you again in a week. I miss you guys, And to the constant patrons of this blog, thanks for keeping my cbox filled with messages. Im gonna return the favor guys. Thanks. And to Ellie-Hime. Just follow what your haert tells you and evrything will follow. DOnt worry about me, I welcome your decision and I thank you for the privileges. Were still friends.
And as for the ghost....May Logic ka naman, at may puso din.
"Let all the infairness of this world keep me going and motivated...."