Third Contact-Ghost Whispers
It was a typical day yesterday. I only sleep for about an hour the previous night and I was still droopy when I started my shift. It was a good shift. I was able to make 3 sales and that really boosted my esteem and woke me up from my impending slumber. By the end of the shift I finally decided to call up the Ghost and meet up with it. At first I was undecided due to the fact that my phone was almost empty. I managed to send out one message and crossed my fingers that we would meet up at the designated place. I came thirty minutes earlier than the specified time and I was able to down to sticks of cigarettes before I finally caught up with her.
At first the typical tension and animosity crept between both of us, but I know that this day was different. We ate at our favorite pizza restaurant and were able to enjoy the whole meal without having a stressful conversation. We went on and bought some of her supplies then afterwards we went to starbucks to smoke some more and enjoy some coffee.I was very reluctant and was holding back until our eyes met. The sheer innocence in her eyes made me fall back to the days when everything was still all right. We tried to talk casually but sometimes something between us still makes us unique. It’s not love and its not even something tangible. It is something that only years of contact and experience can forge. For 8 whole months that was the only time that I was able to freely place my hand on her skin without any animosity or uneasiness. I was also surprised when she returned the favor. It was something small but I am thankful that at least it happened . God is very wise. He lets you piece by piece on the things you want the most, for in the end those who wait and persevere are not left un-rewarded.
As we end the day I painfully reminisce and contemplate on the things I did (refer to the post below-"Anything For You"). We again part ways and I am back to earth once more. I thought of one thing and you know who she is. I ask myself am I still afraid of knowing that as the sun shine and sets she still belongs to someone. But what the heck I am happy and nothing more could make me feel this way. I don’t care about anyone or anything. I love one person and care for her the most. I thank God for giving me these things. It may not be much, but I am willing to stick around as required. I thank you Ghost for you have given me enough motivation and for letting me return the favor.
I end this post with a very special reflection: You still make smile and make me feel wonderful. I love You as always and more than ever. Always here never gone!
For the Ghost:
Holding Back the Tears:
I kind of keep asking myself little questions
Like where do I go from here
I seem to keep loosing track of time and how long its been
Since I last had you near
Been a painful road to a door thats closed
Been a gamble that I knew I couldnt win
Been a lonely conversation to this photograph of you
In the mirror theres a sign I must give in
So Im not holding back the tears anymore
Tryin escape the heartache, tryin escape emotion
No Im not holding back the tears anymore
Yesterdays my memory reminding me of all the time
I depended on you
I used to enjoy spending my time on my own here
Watching the jaded people pass
Now here I am sharing their pain and their lonely tears
And walking a road of broken glass
Its a constant fight to get through each day and night
Its a war between the present and the past
And the face thats in your mind every time you close your eyes
Whats the reason, whats the answer, how long will this last
So Im not holding back the tears anymore
Tryin escape the heartache, tryin escape emotion
No Im not holding back the tears anymore
Yesterdays my memory reminding me of all the time
Been a long time since I heard your last goobdye
Still I hear it clearly every day and night
Whats the point in love when you have to give it up
Yet still you need it and its nowhere you can find
So Im not holding back the tears anymore
Tryin escape the heartache, tryin escape emotion
No Im not holding back the tears anymore
Yesterdays my memory reminding me of all the timeI depended on you
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