Breakup 101

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Well hello there people. It's really been quite a while since I posted something here on this blabber sheet. Ok lot of things had happened. Major ones, good ones, bad ones and everything in the middle. Well Dale and I are no longer together after 5 fruitful and not so fruitful months (but I am ok now). Well almost not a hundred percent. I guess that break ups is not really my thing. Its nice because it is the recognition of one's perspective that the other person or some particular reason does not coexist with yours. It doesn't necessarily mean that it is 100% negative but sometimes breakups are the only solution for you to realize and know where your place should be.

Bitternessis always tailgating the process of breaking up. The feeling is actually like poison being drawn out of the vein. I don’t want to sound dramatic but at the same time it is always tainted by emotions. Why? You spend emotions trying to make yourself the ideal person for your partner, but sometimes we get blinded and get too immature when the process begins. It isn’t easy, I know this very, but you tend to lose yourself. Yes I am a bad person when it comes to breakups. I warn you people don’t go into a relationship with me. I personally say that it is just a yin yang concept. The amount of love is sometimes overshadowed by pain that it releases a completely equal amount of hate. I believe it’s also a matter of which lineage or country you are in. Westerners could just go and drop anyone in an instant. I am not saying it is not painful, but at least they handle it a little better than most Asian people do. Most middle-eastern countries would kill if they catch their partners cheating or when they tend to separate with them. This includes setting them on fire, or chopping a particular piece of human anatomy.

Filipinos are different. Love is both a soothing elixir that gives life to one’s heart, or a paralyzing poison waiting to consume every bit of sanity. Well I wish that I would completely dissolve any inexcusable actions if ever I break up with someone again. You become this lunatic and delusional person, feeding on rage, pain and loneliness. You spend so much time thinking who is she with now, are they making love, are they kissing. You start to feel irritated when you pass by the places that you and that person used to to. It’s like constant Immolation. A blanket of scorching frustration envelopes your body day after day, minute after minute.

But to your surprise, one day at a certain moment, everything mellows down. You relax. Your mind relinquishes all those dervishes of negative thoughts. You see everything clearly and realize that everything happens for a reason. Yes everything happens for a reason. It may take as long as 2 years before you completely let go. But surely enough it would definitely be revealed when the right moment comes. One reminder, never ever get someone new for revenge or for a false reason of companionship. It’s bullshit. Being separated sucks enough for you, then why the hell perform it unto another person.

Another thing guys (and girls alike), breaking up is one way for that rift between you and the person heal. It’s not an overnight matter, and time will always play a factor when it comes to this process. You may hate each other or even do stupid things. Don’t imitate someone like me who gets hell bent sometimes, when the reality of the situation sinks in. Never deny or suppress your feelings. Instead of keeping them openly talk and let it ooze out of your system. Ask yourself if you are ready. Don’t cover up emptiness by broadcasting to the world or that you are now single and open for new prospects. Think and heal yourself, emotionally and spiritually. Find ways to cheer yourself up and keep yourself busy. You were able to live without them before then why not. Do not push yourself unto her circle and instead strengthen and fill your own with new friends or fortify old relationships.

Again it is a process and you have to get the courage to do so. Writing this article doesn’t even ensure anyone that I am no longer hurting, but then again I am willing to take that process. Breaking up doesn’t mean that it’s over for both of you. It could be a simple time-out or just a time off from the pressure of having both dynamic personalities. It is nice to long and yearn and even hope for that person to come back, but don’t forget that “futility” is also one word that might describe the end result of your actions.

Love yourself no matter what. Loving or setting aside a slice of affection for yourself is as important as giving it to someone. How could you love someone if you don’t love your self? Just remember love like water is good when abundant, but once it dries up everything dies.

As a parting statement love is risky and separation is the end result of an unbalanced or unsorted equation between 2 individuals. It doesn’t matter if it is a man-girl, man,-man or a girl to girl relationship. Love doesn’t recognize color or gender, only the synchronized tempo of two hearts beating as one. Thank you and I hope that you will come back again for more of my random ranting about life and everything in between.

Farewell Mia..."May You Rest in Peace"

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Mia Basa... a friend to remember
8 years ago I met this very special girl across our street while watching them play volleyball. I was still very young and was not able to distinguish between infatuation and true love, but I was very glad that I was able to meet that sweet girl. From that point forward I know that this girl would really play a significant part in my life both as an inspiration and a friend. For years even thou both of us had already gone doing diferent things , I know that she would always be a very special friend. Last year I saw her again happily married and was about to give birth to her first child and I am very happy even thou were no longer that close as before. Weeks passed and they were given a very beautiful angel named Bea, and I knew that time that she really deserved all that happiness that God had granted her. A loving wife and mother and friend that was my memory of Mia.


Earlier this morning I was on my way to Andrea's office to finish some of the Tarp orders that I was doing for MSN. It was a very typical but beautiful day. I ordered her favorite organic chef salad and a large size mango kiwi drink for me. When I checked my fone I got four calls form my mom and sister and I was kinda suprised with the urgency of those calls. When Andrea and I finised the tarps we went over to this warehouse to buy display materials for Ms. Kris Aquino and Tito Boy Abunda's flowershop which she manages. Once in the car I checked on my messages and was taken aback with what it says: "From Mama-Gian alam mo na bang Patay na si Mia?". I was surprised and was speechless while the message sank in to my mind. I was just in their shopt last week and she looked so lively and ok naman. Puzzled and shocked I called up home and asked my mom to confirm the news. Moy mom had told be that Mia suffered Aneurysm and that which proved fatal for her.


I really felt sorry for her husband and of course Bea. She's barealy a year old and hindi man lang magkakaroon ng chance na makasama ang mommy niya. I knw we havent been able to catch up through the years but hey first time kong ma feel ang ganito kabigat na strain emotionally. Now all I can say is that may her soul rest in eternal peace. I will always remember you and would always cherish you as a friend. Thanks for the memories and I know God dont plan things to go worng, but they have a deeper pupose and meaning. To her family, my deepest condolences.



I offer your favorite song which forever I will hold dear in my heart. Goodbye my friend, until the the we meet again:



CELINE DION LYRICS"

I Love You, Goodbye


"Wish I could be the one

The one who could give you love

The kind of love you really need

Wish I could say to you

That I'll always stay with you

But baby that's not me

You need someone willing to give their heart and soul to you

Promise you forever, baby that's something I can't do


Oh I could say that I'll be all you need

But that would be a lie

I know I'd only hurt you

I know I'd only make you cry


I'm not the one you're needing

I love you, goodbye


I hope someday you can

Find some way to understand

I'm only doing this for you

I don't really wanna go

But deep in my heart

I know this is the kindest thing to do

You'll find someone who'll be the one that I could never be

Who'll give you something better

Than the love you'll find with me


Oh I could say that I'll be all you need

But that would be a crime

I know I'd only hurt you

I know I'd only make you cry


I'm not the one you're needing

I love you, goodbye


Leaving someone when you love someone

Is the hardest thing to do

When you love someone as much as I love you

Oh I don't wanna leave you

Baby it tears me up insideBut


I'll never be the one you're needing

I love you, goodbye


Baby, its never ganna work out

I love you, goodbye



Rest in peace my friend...

Lakeshore Adventure!-Mexico Pampanga!

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Hello guys. Its been a while and I just finished having my first break for my shift. Well kaka birthday ko lang and hindimpa rin matuloy tuloy ang inuman na pinaplano ko. Sa mga kasama ko kapit lang basta malibre. Now back to my feature post! Weeks ago I was able to have a little bit og respite by going to Lakeshore with Andrea and her Clients Olive and Richard. Wwe went there for their pre-nuptial photoshoot with renowned photgrapher and friend Jervy Cruz.

Well it was a bit tiring coz I was coming off from a shift and we had to stop by Bambi Reyes' salon for their hair and make up sessions. Andrea also had hr nails done and a supposed 2:00 pm embarkment was moved to a 4:00 pm sched. Well travelling north means a smoother and faster travel for me and the gang with the exception of the jerks from mexico pampanga where these youngsters try to trash your windshield by throwing rocks and other debris (dapat aksyunan na to ng mga kinauukulan). Well after an hour and a half drive we arrived safely at our destination and the place was really very nice.


While waiting for Jervy to arrange the necessary permits for the photoshoot I came across a really cute cat that was exceptionally friendly (even thou it was a first time confrontation with us). So after payaing and feeding the cat for about half an hour jervy arrived and we started setting up for the shoot. The whole shoot started with a boatride from the main dock to the central island (the whole place is actually a big piece of recreation and housing property with its man-made lake being the centerpiecs and central island complete with swimming and party ammenities ), where most of the style and candid shots were taken. I was really taken away of how wonderful the first set of pictures came out specially the off frame shot where Olive and Richard were asked to kiss. After the first set, I cant help but take a dip on the pool itself because of the scorching weather and dry feeling of travelling and moving around the place.

Main Dock and Central Island









Poolside and Boat Ride









The way the pool was landscaped was simple yet very pleasing to the eye. A round pool good for 10-15 people with a limestone and rock based, man-made waterfalls ornating one side of the pool. It is really a nice backdraft for the setting sun for it really gave the shoot a very romantic feeling and a retro-feel to it (old school plus advance photography means pefect). After crossing over to the walkway area using a floating barge with a pulley system we preeceded with the second part of the shoot along the dock area and the light house as our backdraft. Night time came and after a quick but sumptuos dinner we headed back to manila ending the day with 14 hour long slumber.

Sunset by the Paddle Boat and Poolside Limestone Waterfall
Well dito na lang muna ngayon. Been very busy and there are a lot of restrictions with regards to our firewall in the office. I was alaso saddened by the fact that two of our wavemates (Deacon and Rhonna) are no longer with us due to personal decisions. We wish them all the luck and may we meet up again soon, one way or another. Again till my next post! Bye!

Goodness Month!

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Whew, hello It's been a while and a lot of things had been going on since my last post and I cant w8 to share it with you guys. 6 more days and Im turning a year older and so is my blog (weel march is actually shutteredlife's birthday). So without any hesitations let me take it away. (BTW guys you can reach me on my new globe number its 09156723472 or e-mail me thru my business e-mail nco_que_giangeles@msn.com -it is always on-line

Production At Last!

Well Last April I just finished training for MSN Tech Support E-Mail / Messenger (Level2), and I am now part of production. Everything seems going well and Im already comfortable of how the account goes. From having an average of 20-40 calls a day from AOL, I now handle less than 20 calls (Well the most that I had since production and Training was 11) for this program. The guys here are giving me and the group a lot of support and what makes it great is tahat most of them (if not evryone) really knows how to have fun. During graduation we had the chance to drink party over at gerardos and most of the tm's, sme's and co agents came buy. Even our OM provided more booze money to make the day even greater. I am still at the graveyard shift (2am/4am window) and Im enjoying weekends off. Well attrition rate for our team has increased a notch due to the depature of 2 our team mates again (from 25, down to 18). Well let's w8 and see what happens next. (Kudos to the ff. TM Joel, TM Jay, TM Dre, Manny, Mynard, Chris, Mutay, sheila, Mckoy and of course two of the craziest guys on the floor Steiner and Chico!).


New Sony-riffic gadgets!


Well I was able to buy a new phone at last and decided to sacrifice a little of quality tom accomodate my second psp. I had purchased a new Ericsson W700i and I am really satisfied with it. Merging the features of both my old phone (k750i) and the Walkman functionality and speed of w800i, I then for conclude that it was a nice buy. I was able to sell my p800 (napulot ko) for 3k and that really help augment my budget. For the psp I was able to buy a white version (blue and silver looks good) but then again white for me is so fly! Well all I need now is to finish up my other projefcts and take good care of my backpay to have a really prosperous year (again its year of the pig diba?).



Well thats it for today folks I'll just keep you updated with new things in the coming days! Well thanks for visiting my Blog and I hope to hear from you soon by leaving me a tag o message on my tagboard on the right. Again thank you and Have a nice day!

Arise...

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Well hello there people its been quite a while since my last post. Well some things have changed and I have some things to say for someone out there (geesh I cant believe I still have a bulseye mark on my back for the longest time tee hee). Alright then lets go!

Goodbye Hyperion! Goodbye AOL!

First of all I am very sorry to say that i am no longer with AOL, and sad to say that Im really missing all of you guys there, especially The Hyperions. Well I really learned a lot from you guys, and I wont forget the things that we did during our time together. To Vince maraming mraming salamat. To all of my friends there ( Caco, Mone, Ap, Jon, Mitch, Karen, Rex, TJ, Allan, Jayson, Mark A., Mark F., Dada, Mitch E., Rj, Ge, Chris, Manny, SOIC Cha, OM Alvin, Sol, Amor, Ram, Frank, Lara, Kat, Lisa, Audz, Lee, CBor, Ellie, Tl Karen, Yoyo, Mau, Rolf, Jerome and everybody else na di ko nabanggit! MAraming mraming Salamat sa inyong Lahat! Pasensiya na po sa lahat!
Hello MSN
On the lighter side, I already got a new job from NCO (Northern Collections Organization) over in ELJC Building (ABS CBN) as a Level2 MSN E-Mail support Specialist. I am very very happy with the way my training is going and I should say that evrything that I learned from AOL helped a lot. Well nothing really came into my mind until our first call sim, and I would really say that everything is good! Here are some pics from NCO and I just wanna say hi and hello to my new friends (Carlo, Rhona, Jon, Oliver, Duff, Lawrence, Josh, Volt, Eisie, Ian and especially Boo hehehe! Etc! Inuman na uli mga tsong!
Photos!

















Videos














Farewell Memory

I just want to say farewell to a one very important person in my past. Youv'e already done it, and I know you have what it takes to conquer all of life's adversities. I wont react or blame you for whatever grudges or things you still have against me. I wont mind you telling things (negative ones) to your friends, or if you still think of me as shit, but just like what Iv'e said, only time could tell that I am still here as a friend (or whatever you want to call me gremlin, saudi boy I really dont care). You take good care of yourself and I wish you all the luck in the world! I dont need to mention names here. Be safe all the time, and I know that God and all your inner strength would make you survive. Thanks for all the lessons in life that youv'e given me. Your all grown up right now and there's always a monster ready to share the burden and pains that the future may throw at you. Well nothing more to say right now. "Arrivederci, fai buon viaggio e segui il tuo cuore"-For Choi
Thats It for now! Well Thanks again for visitng my blog! I'll keep it coming!
Sayonara

Hyperion's last supper (well it was breakfast).

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Last January 17 my team and I was treated to an eat all you can breakfast at "Circles" over at Shang-Ri-la makati, courtesy of our aol Head Honcho John Henry. With the team were the muses (boses) of ops headed by our Client Manager Shiela Tan, SOICS Cha Rigor and Sacha Larde. Team Hyperion (Before our the re-shuffle) consist of TOIC Vince Claur, Giancarlo Angeles, Eric Castro, Mark Alejo, miggs Joaquin, Grace Santos, Aimee Cabalo, Allan Saliendra, Carlo De Leon, Tine Peres, Shine Geronimo, Mike Monegas, Christopher Bayas and Maureen Bautista, Tristan Bautista and Anthony Ray Tapia.
Enjoy the PICS :







Mau, TJ (Aimee), Miggs and Tristan







Gee and Shine (Standing), Mau, TJ and Miggs



Naiinitan ka ba? Palamig ka muna with the new AOL Light On Fan! (Model "Gee" Included, Puwede Tumpok)






Milkshake Anyone, I'll serve it Straight up!


The Boys: (Back) Eric, Gian, Caco Ton Ton, Mark A. (Foreground) Tupe and Daboy

The Bosses Client Managers John Henry, Sheila Tan and SOICS Sacha Larde and Cha Rigor


The Brady Bunch-( Back) Totn Ton, Caco, Me, Mau, Shine. (Center) Miggs, Gee, TJ (Aimee). (Front) Mark A., Allan, Tupe, Eric, Tristan (Kami na lang ni Caco kumakain diyan).


Miggs lumayo ka baka makain kita! Gian prang yougurt lang yang calories na makukuha mo kay Miggs!

Why Being a Friend Is Key

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Who said dating was easy?
Were all here to help you get your love life
back on track!

This post will show you simple rules and tips to date by. Don't let another Feb. 14 go by dateless. With advance planning and
a little encouragement, you'll be well on your way to meeting other eligible singles.

Rule No. 1
A Friend Comes Before a Lover

Who wants a mate who doesn't enjoy the same things you do? Success lies in finding things that bring you together -- not apart. The more you're together learning about each other's likes & dislikes, you're able to set the stage for something meaningful.

Rule No. 2
Don't Let Familiarity
Breed Contempt

The better we know people, the more likely we are to find fault with them. Don't let bitterness come between you and others -- it will only push you further apart. Have new experiences to keep it fresh and moving. That might just mean being a friend first.

Rule No. 3
Listen for Once

It's not always about you. Step back and look beyond your immediate self to learn what makes others tick. You can learn a lot -- open your eyes to something new. And who knows, maybe your friend now becomes something more.

Rule No. 4
Make the First Move

Don't wait for them to reach out to you, make plans to catch up today, whether it's a long lost love or someone cute you met just last week. Don't let your destiny fall in someone else's hands -- pick up the phone now. Maybe something can be rekindled after all.

Rule No. 5
Share the Spotlight

One is a lonely number, but two can be lots of fun. Shifting your vocabulary from ''I'' to ''We'', says you understand the basis of any relationship. This can provide an immediate connection for others who are just starting to learn who you are and 'if' you'll become something more

High Hopes

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<<

Well I’m still dead-tired after a two 3-hours/day OT scheme I’m doing. Nice thing about it is that I get to take in more MAC Calls than Windows, which make it worthwhile (windows users are so stubborn while MAC Users are more sensible). Bad thing about this is the volume of calls I’m having for the past 2 weeks. After the Tucson and Albuquerque sites had closed down. Most of the call bulks are being routed here in Manila. You’ll be surprised of how much pressure a newbie would feel handling an average of 40 calls a day and a high of 60 for tenured agents like us.

But hey I don’t really mind that now. OT hours are for the taking. Well it pays so much that I can’t believe how much money I’m going to be making this January alone. Hmmmm. My Salary was not yet adjusted for a month, which means retro-pay. My PA for 7 months will be coming out by the last week of January or first week of Feb. Heheh! What makes it more exciting is the fact that I double checked how much the N80 or N91 cost right now and it is still very feasible for the N80 will tally at around 21-22 while the N91 at 18. I am also planning to get a second white PSP for myself if the phone idea doesn’t really ring a bell.

I am back being single again, and it's kind of nice coz now I know that I really don’t have the time and the drive right now to run a relationship. Were still friends (Sam) and we'll just try again some other time but for now it is going to be I, work and family. Well that’s it for now. I just want to thank everyone for the wonderful 2006 you gave me and I wish everyone all the best this 2007. Hehehe! Happy New Year! Time to go home




Welcome to the Black Parade

by: My Chemical ROmance

When I was a young boy,
My father took me into the city
To see a marching band.
He said,
"Son when you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken,
The beaten and the damned?"
He said
"Will you defeat them, your demons, and all the non believers, the plans that they have made?"
Because one day I leave you,
A phantom to lead you in the summer,
To join the black parade."

When I was a young boy,
My father took me into the city
To see a marching band.
He said,
"Son when you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken,
The beaten and the damned?"

Sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me.
And other times I feel like I should go. Through it all, the rise and fall, the bodies in the streets.
When you're gone we want you all to know We'll Carry on,
We'll Carry on
Though your dead and gone believe me Your memory will carry on
Carry on
We'll carry on
And in my heart I cant contain it
The anthem wont explain it.

And we will send you reeling from decimated dreams
Your misery and hate will kill us all
So paint it black and take it back
Lets shout it loud and clear
Do you fight it to the end
We hear the call to




To carry on
We'll carry on
Though your dead and gone believe me Your memory will carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're broken and defeated You're weary widow marches on

And on we carry through the fears
Ooh oh ohhhh
Disappointed faces of your peers Ooh oh ohhhh
Take a look at me cause
I could not care at all Do or die
You'll never make me
Cause the world, will never take my heart
You can try, you'll never break me
Want it all,
I'm gonna play this part
Wont explain or say i'm sorry
I'm not ashamed,
I'm gonna show my scar
You're the chair, for all the broken Listen here, because it's only..
I'm just a man,
I'm not a hero
Just a boy, who's meant to sing this song
Just a man,
I'm not a hero
I -- don't -- care
Carry on
We'll carry on
Though your dead and gone believe me Your memory will carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're broken and defeated You're weary widow marches on
We'll carry on
We'll carry on
We'll carry on
We'll carry
We'll carry on



Happy New Year!

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Hello Guys!

It’s the Start of the year and what else could I say. I wasn’t able to do a Christmas post and I’m ready to start the year off with a bang well of some sort. Ok lets begin. First of all I just want to greet everyone a very happy New Year.


Feeling very optimistic cause this is my year, (well I know I am as big as a boar) and hope everything goes smoothly. Now with some new plans for the blog. No more tear-jerky and melodramatic post. (I’ll try to switch back and forth form serious and fun stuff). Again time to do features and other write-ups about the different buzz around town. I plan to do my own Metro Manila Expedition and go back to the old-fashioned photo blog that I utilize before. I am also a month away form getting my brand new Nokia Phone (Well N93 or N91) I’ll let you guys decide what phone should I buy (answer my poll ok)… Now lets get down to business.

New Years Resolution…

1.) Financial Rebound and Growth

The last part of the year was really a big financial slump for me. I wasn’t really able to get my bearing. This time must manage my finances in a more productive manner. These include not emptying my salary account and also keep a constant budget on things. I’m going to start laying off on my Magic expenditures and cut off on the food trips and petty dates. A reward scheme for myself will be implemented and I’m going to try keeping personal stuff (A new phone and a secondary gadget should be enough for me this year).

2.) Fashion

For this year I intend to clean up a little bit. I plan to sport a trendier and sharper look for myself. Well I plan to have 2 new pairs (A brown and black business/ formal shoes) by Feb and then invest on at least 2 pairs of dress shirts or round necks). I haven’t bought a new pair of sneakers/rubber shoes last year so I still plan to have one later in the year. Well other things should come up as the weeks go by and well see what progress I could make.

3.) Work


Well as for work my stats seem to drop a notch after my mental instability during the last two months. Starting the year with two sales, a commendation and a revived call taking energy, things are looking beautiful. I managed to find that same grooved that made me excel during the last 6 months of my stay here at E-ETelecare. I plan to get my second promotion by either Feb or March, but that still depends on my Q4 Score Cards. But hopefully everything will still hold. Attendance is also a big factor this time. I’ll try my best to avoid unnecessary absenteeism and stay healthy for as long as possible.

4.) Family Relations


Well I’ve been very secretive about some of my activities and it really affected my family relations. So this time, no more unnecessary secrets and miscommunications with my family. They’ve stayed there the longest and I am very lucky to have them behind me all the time. I think it’s time for me to return the favor. I am very fortunate to have a


5.) Relationship and Love

Sorry got to do more important stuff.

6.) Faith


Well got to step it up when it comes to my religious responsibilities. Got to thank him for everything that comes into my life. For always being there when the going gets tough and always providing me when I really need it. All I wish for is good health for my family, friends and enemies.

Well that’s it for me for this year. If ever there are other things that may contribute to this changes, then I’ll keep you updated ayt! Happy New Year Guys!









Closing the chapter...Solace Fades....

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<< Please play the Song of the Post before reading


As I begin writing down a new chapter in my life, I slowly ink away the final days of a 6-year experience that molded my own individuality in the face of this earth. A chapter filled with wonderful, memorable and mournful things. I stop and look back at the one thing that kept me going. A reason that took my soul to the brink of Insanity and Happiness.



As I recount every second, minute, hour days and years I cant help but be thankful for it had happened. I thank thee for the first message. I thank thee for the first meeting and our first kiss. I thank thee for the confidence you gave me. Thank you for the love we’ve shared. I thank thee for all the fights and arguments that made our relationship colorful. I thank thee for the perpetual bliss that we shared. I thank thee for the laughter and smiles we both shared. The Breakfast, lunches and dinners that we both feasted on. The Birthdays, Christmas, New years and funerals we both celebrated. The Monsthsaries, Anniversaries. The unforgettable second meeting and the romantic night after your graduation.


All of these things helped mold the present us. We may go our separate ways and It may be hard walking these path with new hands and feet joining us. But life goes a round circle and may our feet bring us back again. Friends, lovers, enemies? We wont know. But one things for sure, I’m keeping you in a place worth knowing and easily not remembering for some time.
As I slowly finish the last pages of this chapter I remove all my vows and promises given to yo, and let ourselves be equals. I wont push fate’s wheels against its will, but I would certainly make sure I am ready to handle unexpected things. Now as I turn the last page of our lives I leave one page blank. We wont know when will my second book begin. A familiar hand may start the first verse or somebody new. AS for me I’ll turn the pages for them and let another wonderful story be written.


Life aint fair but the pains and sadness forever makes us stronger and love more tender. We become better persons, wounded but togher. In the end the tables of fate would lay down new horizons and new chapters in life would give us a chance to be a new character or an old player in life's unending game!

Farewell for now dear Ghost. Things may have changed, but our would never fade. Saya Cinta Amu!
Sayonara

One More Time let me play the song you thought me how to love. It may not served it's meaning, but it did worked for me, for I have wished it would have been the one I'll be singing my entire life.


"Spend My Life With You"

Eric Benet(feat. Tamia)

I

I never knew such a day could come


And I never knew such a love


Could be inside of one


And I never knew what my life was for


But now that you're here I know for sure


I never knew till I looked in your eyes


I was incomplete till the day you walked into my life


And I never knew that my heart could feel


So precious and pure


One love so real



Chorus


Can I just see you every morning when


I open my eyes


Can I just feel your heart beating beside me


Every night


Can we just feel this way together


Till the end of all time


Can I just spend my life with you



II


Now baby the days and the weeks


And the years will roll by


But nothing will change the love inside


Of you and I


And baby I'll never find any wordsThat could explain


Just how much my heart my life


My soul you've changed



Chorus II


Can you run to these open arms


When no one else understands


Can we tell God and the whole world


I'm your woman, and you're my man


Can't you just feel how much I love you


With one touch of my hand


Can I just spend my life with you



Coda:


No touch has ever felt so wonderful(You are incredible)


And a deeper love


I've never known(I'll never let you go)


I swear this love is true(Now and forever to you)


(only for you)To you



Chorus III


Can I just see you every morning whenI open my eyes


Can I just feel your heart beating beside me


Every night


Can we just feel this way together Till the end of all time


Can I just spend my life with you


Can you run to these open arms


When no one else understands


Can we tell God and the whole world


You're my woman, and you're my man


Can't you just feel how much I love you


With one touch of my hand


Can I just spend my life with you


Can I just spend my life with you


Can I just spend my life with you


(Forever here with you)


Can I just spend my life with you


Can I just see you every morning when


I Open my eyes



Dancing my love away...

Terminus


I remember a very nice line from the movie “Shall We Dance”. I still recall the first time I’ve seen the movie. It was early February this year while I was celebrating someone’s birthday over at “TGI-Fridays”. It was with someone really special and I really did not pay any attention. Earlier tonight I managed to watch the movie in full and I felt a pinch when I heard Richard Geres’s response to Susan Sarandon’s question “Why did you keep this from me” (Taking In Balroom Dancing Lessons )? Then he replied with “I am ashamed of telling you that I am doing something to make me happy, when I have all the “Happiness” in the world with you”.

Yes I was also victim of the same crime. I was so much happy with what I had before, and still I looked for something that I thought would make me happier. I had all the extra time and capability of giving that happiness to that special someone. I don’t know, I kind of felt sad in a way coz I only have 6 more days to go for that “SIGN” to come. Things are rather complicated if there is only one person willing to give something a shot. Would I regret my decisions? No one knows, but then again somehow a part of me still clings or, something still wish for something that another person is not willing to go through.

It’s a constant “tug of war” of both emotions and mental stability. Things are better when they are a bit complicated. Sigh! Well I’ll just let the days go by. Whatever happens in the last 6 days might as well be the best for both of us. Pain causes separation but something deeper makes the feeling stronger.

So guys and gals if ever you have excess happiness or energy to make someone happy, don’t look somewhere else, the person who deserves it is just right beside you. Loving you and considers you the best individual in the world!

Now I leave you with the song I don’t want to fall in Love by Tonya Mitchell- Hmmm…kinda got stuck in my head after listening to it while on my way to work


I don’t want to fall in Love
by Tonya Mitchell

Who needs to feel that way

Who needs those words to say

Who wants to give their heart

To watch love fade away

Cause I made up my mind

I didn't want to know

Why should I find the love that isn't here to stay

I wasn't waiting

Until you came alone

And now I need you

To tell me where my heart belongs


Chorus:

But I don't want to fall in love'

Till I fall in love with you

And you showed me what my heart already knew

I don't want to fall in love'

Till I know the love is true'

Cause I need

You to feel the way I do

When I give my heart to you


I've seen the tears they cry

When it's time for goodbye

I didn't want to be the onewho's asking why

I didn't think that I would ever feel so strong

But now I know that I was wrong


Chorus

Now I believe it's worth a chance

To find the love to last

For all my life

Give me a sign So I Will always know this love is right

This love is right

Ohhh


Chorus repeated until end

Departure 2-Exile

Terminus




Hello it’s me again. Man I really had a hell of a week (Sure, it was hell!) Ok during may last post I was talking about saying goodbye and dramatic retreat from all of those "Getting Over Blues". Well was I wrong? Slight. Yes I ate some of my words but please let me explain.



I met with the ghost some other time again (whoever is reading this I don’t care about you fool!). It was nice coz in the end I still miss and care for the ghost, even if she has a "walking X-ray partner". Divisoria is a very memorable place for us and I’m happy that I was able to go there and shop again for myself (not for her...err maybe a little). No tension, no animosity that’s how a day should be at least for two people who had a very colorful past. I was never pushy and sentimental that time. Everything went smoothly. A friendly walk and talk and that really made my day. Screw the on-going afternoon heat and the stinky sweaty bodies you bumped with along the 168 and DV Mall. What’s important is that I was haunted again. Traditional Coffee and Chicken finished the day up, and nothing beats two packs of Dunhill lights to wade the day away. Romantic? Nah. It was a "friendly" date. Hmmm.is it. Nah just kidding you guys.

Well so much for it. Am I over her...almost or....heheheh keep on reading on future posts. Well financially I am kind of drained right now. Hopefully come January and February everything’s going to pick up again. Sigh I really got to save. One more thing, yes I do have a girlfriend but to honestly tell you guys it's not the same as before. Well for starters I started having shorter sleeping hours and lots and lots of petty arguments. Its not as if I cant manage it, its just that nothing still sweeps me off my feet. Yes I do care for her (I hope love comes in next). Call me stupid but I still cant determine which is which. Siguro mahirap lang talagang tapatan ang ibang bagay (Di ba Skeletor"). Yah she's pretty and everything, but that "magic" something aunt that visible right now. I still have 15 more days to go and If it pushes through then I’m bound. But if within 15 days nothing sparks up then I know whom God really wants for me. Sigh no more details. I’m secured emotionally right now, and everything may not be as smooth as I want them to be, but I’m managing everything one problem at a time.

Now people ask me If I am still mad at "skeletor". Hmm a bit. I hope she treats Cory better (Yeah alam kong mabait siya, pero Damn shed some effort naman and do something special. Talk fool, wag kang tahimik at tango lang ng tango. Kaya nga may away para maayos ang lahat. Buwiset! (Sorry Composure na ito!). Now gusto ko pa rin siyang makasuntukan as In walang iwas take everything na kakayanin mo. kaya nga ako nagbubuhat at nagpapa bawas ng timbang. Hehehe. Cant wait for that day na mangyari yun. Its more of testicular fortitude than revenge. Hoy balik mo Blog ‘
ulol!

Well that’s it for that other side. Well back on lighter things. Work is getting easier and easier, and I hope come February I could nail the TSR 2 Promotion. That would really help a lot. An impending re-shuffling kind of concerns me but I hope that I still stay with Vince or at least Shift Armstrong (We love you SOIC CHA). I have nothing against the other teams or shifts but hey they are our bread and butter. The team's kind of struggling right now, but hey were getting there. I would like to finally reward myself with something that I’ve really earned skill wise. And hopefully I could reward myself with a nice Nokia-N91 Music Edition phone come Feb. Were! But na lang di ako programmer (joke). heheh!

Ehem! One more thing, I’ve noticed that there is a big influx of really cute and pretty ladies from the last 2 waves. Here a lot of my floor mates are having the time of their lives just by looking and trying to talk with these little sisters of mine (akala nyo poporma ako no?...uhm.... hello there). Some noticeable names are Marichu, Tanya, Janey. Lych, Rexie (Winona Ryde of the Floor), Mel (My Big Sister) and of course Dolly. Well just a compliment to these ladies for really lighting up the floor with your charms and beauty.

At it's almost three and I have to go. Damn my moms going to kill me for going home late again (Buwiset kasi yang sweldong yan delayed). Well overall I just wanna thank "Cars' and" Cai: for being my new blog buddies here. Please feel free to visit my "Friends'" blogs by clicking on the links on the right. Now I leave you this wonderful song from U-TURN entitled "Hurting Inside". I chose this song coz I love singing this with the most beloved girl in my life....awoooooo! Hehe! Bato bato sa langit ang tamaan basag ang buto!

HURTING INSIDE

by U-TURN


There are moments

That I feel I just can't go on

Wishing that you were here

Oh how I wish

You holding me close to you

Wispering those words

I love you (I love you)

REFRAIN:

But baby you're not there

Like you were before

No words of love to hear

Can't smile anymore

Is it finally over

I can't wait any longer

Do you ever think of me

Coz baby can't you see

CHORUS:

That I'm hurting inside

All the tears I can't hide

Life is never easy

without you baby

I want you to know

that I'm hurting inside

The pain is deep inside (I can't mend it)

Wishing you would come to ease the pain

In my heart

Coz lovin' you just hurts deep inside

Empty moments

They just fill every part of me

Since you've been away from me

Give me a chance to say how much I care

Hold me close to you and let me through

REFRAIN:

CHORUS:

Always Here Never Gone!




Departure.

Terminus

P.S. (I wont apologize for saying all the things in detail here). It’s the reality, and everyone should stand for the truth.

I was about to finish my last cigarette, when I realized what a fool I’ve been. Things were nice yet the true meaning doesn’t depict the anomalies lying underneath this smile. I may have a hard time doing this, but I am willing to make my way through this ordeal. It may take a lot of effort and emotional fortitude before I finally get myself out of this situation, but then again I must.

I was glad when I was given the chance to be with the ghost for a couple of times this past two months. I t was like a dream come true. I told myself “hey, this is what I want and I’m happy that it turned out this way. My days were thrown in turmoil. Dazed and confused I searched for answers, but all it gave me was more questions. Yes I was in-love, but the more that I yearn for something in return, eats more of my sanity, than preserving it. I then took upon myself to completely break of this so-called make believe thing.

It was a very nice day when I met up with her. We had a very nice dinner over at Temple Bar and finished the day off with the old fashioned Starbucks coffee. During the course of our conversation, I could feel the animosity and coldness of her words (but I wasn’t mad). Then I finally realized that maybe I should start living my life a little bit outside of her shadow. I never thought that I would be able to utter the words “I’m Going to Stop Now”, but I did. I am not hoping. I am no longer reaching for that elusive “love “ that kept me going.

I am now by myself. Alone but not lonely. I won’t be waiting, but I’m always ready. IF she comes back then good, if not then so be it. It was hard, but it’s the correct thing to do. I just want to promise you Corazon De Guia, that I am always here never gone, but this time you may have to look or call out for me. I wont turn my back on you. I’m simply going opposite your way. You said that you’re happy, then so be it. That’s all I want to hear. I’ll let you and your boyfriend find your own way of happiness. I don’t know how he handles your relationship, but I guess everyone knows how I treat you. I wont comment on how much effort his giving. I’ll just look away and let you grow. I know your capable of handling the relationship so I know there won’t be any problems with you.

Now I can walk around with my head straight. Lonely but no longer sad. I won’t wait, but I’ll always be ready. Your always welcome you know that. I am no longer frustrated or insecure with him. I know what is capable of for you, and I no longer have to compare. I’m satisfied with what reality has. Go your way, I’ll go mine. The world is round, so go straight and we may find each other again. I am the ghost not you.

Corazon de Guia, I never loved anyone more than I loved you. And no one, not even the man beside you could tell me that he loves you more than I do. I’ll give away my pride and everything just to make you happy, but I would wait for the right time to do that!


Remember boy, make my girl cry and you’ll die and pay dearly for it.


Be a man; give her the care that she needs.


Love alone cant keep you together.


She’s not a regular woman; so don’t be regular on her.


Still no sakura or cherry blossoms around me. It would always be autumn or winter. I’m always here never gone. What mine is always yours, and what I do is for you. You are my life, no matter how you treat me. Be cold as the snow, but my love and care for you will burn even brighter.

Saya Cinta Amu Cory-You truly deserve this line. For no one could make me love. The way that you do.

Been thinkin' of you


Like I always do my love


These tears I cry


Cause the day that I feared


Is finally here, my love


And I don't know why


Refrain:


You no longer see


Your tomorrow with me


Now we could never be... So...


Chorus:


You go your way


And I'll go my way


You know I can never


Force you to stay


You won't be mine


You made up your mind


So just keep on going


And don't look behind



I'll always hold dear


The times you We're here with me


And I won't forget


All the dreams that we shared


And how much you cared for me


I've no regrets..



Refrain 2:


Though now all I have Are long lonely nights


Cause you've already said goodbye


(Chorus)



Bridge:


I love you With all my heart and soul


And I never thought We'd ever fall


I know...you know You know just where you belong...


Here with me, here with me


(Chorus)


Cause you don't wanna see me


Down on my knees


I'll be kissing my dreams away


Now all I can do Is let go of you


And pray that you'll


Come back to me someday




To be continued...